Journal Day

Happy Wednesday everyone!!! Today I don't have anything crafty and I just wanted to journal about what has been going on with me. If you don't want to read it come back tomorrow and I should have some eye candy for you.

For some odd reason I have always wanted 3 kids, I don't know, I have my ideas but don't care to share them here. When I met my husband he knew I wanted kids but wasn't keen on the idea. 3 was a huge stretch for him. We went around in circles several times on the discussion of 3. We made an agreement when we were still living in Alaska (I won't go into details) but we had decided to try for a 3rd. But with a move pending we put it off, for a year, yeah right.

When we got to California we (meaning me) had decided to try and plan this one correctly. Both my boys were born in the Alaska winter (November/December). I wanted a precious April baby. We waited until July to try for our 3rd. No baby, August, September, October, still no baby. I have had some female issues I have been dealing with since before we left Alaska. I started to think that there wasn't going to be a baby or if it was possible it wouldn't be until we got my issues straightened out.

That didn't stop me from getting my hopes up every month that our 3rd precious baby would be here in 9 months. But also in the back of my mind (and has been since before I have had my kids) that I would someday have a miscarriage. There have been a few women in my life that have and I just assumed that since they did it meant that I would as well.

So when my husband and I had our last discussion about having a 3rd baby (we decided that we wouldn't try or prevent and just let it happen) and then finding out the next month that we were pregnant, I was nervous, happy and so scared all at the same time. I have been thinking, in the back of my head, that something would go wrong and my baby wouldn't make it.

Yesterday was my first OB appointment with my doctor. I was nervous and excited. Now I want to say that both my boys were born in a military hospital in Alaska, this one will be born at a civilian hospital because this base does not have a hospital. It has also been 4 years since I last went through all this. So I had no idea what to expect. A good friend of mine, who saw the same doctor, not only watched my boys but also told me that she got an ultrasound at the first appointment. I was excited but scared about what the ultrasound would show.

My husband went with me and we waited and waited and waited. There was a lady who had an emergency and needed to see the doc which set him back. We finally get in there, they tell me all this info, ask for even more info, and then send me back into the waiting room to wait for the ultrasound. My nerves were in knots. We get in the ultrasound room and we wait for the doctor. When he finally comes in he gets right to it. I immediately see my babies little heart beating and a sigh of relief came from me. But then I get to thinking, I haven't seen the baby move yet. I am trying to make myself feel better, the heart is beating the baby has to be alright. And then I see and hear the doctor say, it's moving. I got teary eyed and so excited. My baby IS okay. It is the greatest feeling in the world.

Now according to my research my due date is the 7th of February. The doctor's office has it as the 5th of February (according to my first day of my last period). The ultrasound has it as the 10th or 11th of February. That concerned me a bit that we weren't measuring what we should but the doctor wasn't concerned and left my due date as the 5th of February. My mom wants the baby to be born on the 1st of February so she has an excuse to stop celebrating her birthday :) If that is what she wants than I hope that is what I can give her.

I am just so excited to know that my baby really is in there and kicking and growing. I hope I can truly begin to enjoy this pregnancy since I know it will be my last. The fun thing that we are doing and some people probably think we are crazy; since it is my last and I already have 2 boys I have decided that I don't want to know what we are having. I am going to wait until the baby is born and they announce with 100% surety, it is a ???? My husband on the other hand, just can't stand not knowing. He has assured me that he will be able to keep this big secret. I have 99% confidence that he can.

The next 7 months will go by slowly/quickly, I have no idea. My oldest starts kindergarten next month so I am sure that will keep me busy enough that things will fly by but pregnancies never go as quickly as you hope so we shall see.

So, that has been my life for a while. I hope you are having a wonderful time this summer.

Thanks for stopping by!!!

Missy